Said by an INTP friend when we were talking about relationships. I was like “oh, man! Extraverted feeling…it’s a pain sometimes.” The desire to harmonize can be obnoxious.
Uhmm… Just ask them? Being able to talk to someone is the key, just keep running with it. If someone else likes you or is interested they’ll want to spend some time and have the opportunity to get to know you.
Having lived with your parents (presumably) for your entire life, they have a different perception of you than most people. Parents look at their children in a unique manner and judge them on different premises.
What it really comes down to is what you consider yourself to be, if you match the INTP template you’d know, if you fit the ENTP one then you’d know. There is always the grey space with the traits you’ve acquired that aren’t as natural to you. So what is natural for you? Figure that out and you should be good.
INTP-INTP relationships are great under the following conditions:
i) the relationship is actually made and they both realise they are dating
ii) they don’t change themselves in any unnatural way to attempt to accommodate their partner (don’t fake anything)
iii) someone sucks it up and ‘becomes the feeler’ when things hit the rocks
iv) if there is a problem it is openly discussed
I think that’s the gist of it, I wish I had some confirmed INTP friends [:
ENTP-INTP… Right, so the ENTPs I know like a puzzle, they like working through the layers to find out what’s underneath. INTPs are like corn; once you get through all the bullshit layers around it we’re made up of lots of different pieces that all fit together in a ordered pattern. We’re logical, they’re logical, they’re extraverted, they get us out of our husks, we open up and talk about stuff and it’s all good.
Okay, enough corn analogies for
Breaking up any kind of relationship doesn’t have to do with personality so much as maturity and awareness. I don’t think anyone really enjoys breaking up, or if there is any one good way to do it. Just be straightforward about it, explain what it is about the friendship that is causing you trouble. If they’re willing to help find a way to compromise then you can continue on your merry way together.
A big thing that I notice about unsuccessful INTP-INFP relationships is the lack of communication. Neither person wants to be the one to step out of their comfort zone and take a chance.
… I mean, if you really like the person, isn’t it worth taking a risk to get what you want? Rather than sitting by the wayside thinking about what you could have with just a few words.
While lateness and disorganisation are characteristic of perceivers, I really think it’s more of a habit that results from other more benign traits. I’m a fairly strong P but I’m always on time, unless I entirely forgot that I needed to be somewhere.
Personality types and gender roles/stereotypes.
INTP males generally deal with emotional/touchy-feely stuff even worse than INTP females, so certain Feeler partners can be difficult.
Ultimately it comes down to the individuals, we can generalise all we like, but everyone is unique no matter how much it may appear that we have in common.
Siiiick, I wish I got along better with my brother on a more regular basis.
I can’t speak for your particular situation. But ENTJs are Ne-Ti (INTPs are Ti-Ne) so they value similar things to us. Logic, reasoning, abstract, creative visions, intuitive conversation. If you’ve got any of these things in common with your ENTJ then chances are they notice you too.
Jesus was supposedly an ENTJ.
This is pretty good stuff.
I think that a big part of it is to do with how developed the INTPs NP is and the ISTJs SJ. If they are both particularly strong in these areas then there may be some serious clashes.
But I can attest to INTPs and ISTJs being able to have very happy friendships both on and off the Interweb.
(This is partly in response to the anon ask about INTP-ISTJ stuff)
I advise that you purchase a tent, take all the food in the house, some warm clothes and loot your house of valuables, then get on your bicycle and ride north at dawn.
I don’t think ESFPs are natural partners for INTPs… From what I know they are really social people, they like to talk, but mostly from a shallow point of view. They don’t have the same interest for those in depth, puzzling, theoretical ideas and conversations. They lack the inborn desire that INTPs have to learn new things, having the heavy preference to skirt around things they are familiar with.
All the while they are super friendly people, just not the kind of person I would want to spend my days with.
In theory they would balance each other out. Round one another out if you will. Just don’t exploit or be overly critical of each others weaknesses. INTPs and ISFJs look at the world very differently, which is a good opportunity the INTP to get some insight on the strange world of sensor-feelers.